witty-remark's Diaryland Diary

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Purple Haze

I went to bed at 4:33 am. Every time I closed my eyes to drift off, some minute sounds or scuffle would awake me. All my concentration was drawn to the chirping of the birds merrily singing outside my window. I wanted to throw rocks at them. Don't those fucking things sleep? The early bird may get the worm but it's also more likely to get a beating from me if it continues this charade.

I squeezed my lids shut, real tight, so tight that I began losing sight of those small blue sparks and could feel my nose tense up. I made an effort to force myself into unconsciousness, but it was no use. I collapsed and gave into my mind's strange thoughts.

Every and any idea that entered my brain was thereon thoroughly elaborated and investigated. I sank back into old memories and the feeling of remorse that they often evoke. By now I was far from mad, I was plummeting towards delusional. At 3:54 am, I began recalling a time back in the second grade where I had stolen a purple pencil crayon from a fellow classmate in an attempt to add more vibrant colors to my picture. Mind you, I was drawing trees and a dog so why I needed purple is beside me. I cunningly snatched the crayon from the desk and slyly went to work. As I livened up my picture I remember the face of Hansel (the poor German boy whom I had stolen the pencil from) droop into a frown and soon tears were streaming from his little schnitzel eating face. My teacher called a search and we all hunted for the 'missing' crayon. I of course being the pansy that I am, nearly shit my pants and pretended to look truly concerned and bothered. The search was brief, and after that day I slipped my sin into a daisy covered pencil case and it's stayed there ever since.

I'm not sure why I remembered that so vividly, or why I felt so terrible about it, or more importantly why I began asking god for forgiveness afterwards. I just did.

Without realizing it, I had tangled myself into a web of dreams only to be awoken at 1:20 by my mother who was screaming at me to put my clothes in the laundry. Delightful.

2:02 p.m. - Sunday, Jun. 26, 2005

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