witty-remark's Diaryland Diary

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Whenever I write to Jill I get the urge to add an entry in my diaryland. I can't explain why; the feeling just engulfs me and won't go away until I type something...regardless of how meaningless it may be.

I think I expected grade 12 to be better than grade 11, and maybe it is, I'm only two weeks into it. But as far as I've experienced, it's just like grade 11 but with greater pressures and responsibilities.

I used to spend my 11:11 wishes on practical things like hoping I did well in school or wishing that nobody around me would die for the next 20 years. Now I make use of them by wishing that I look good tomorrow, that I'll get to see and talk with so-and-so tomorrow, or that my hair will look nice. I make real trivial wishes because now I'm shallow; maybe I always was. I feel like in order to be more sociable I have to comprimise my intelligence, and in order to be intelligent I have to comprimise my sociability. It's more important to be smart, isn't it? Then why can't I whole-heartedly say "yes" ?

A couple of days ago **e* told me about how she gave blowjobs to two guys in the back of their BMW. She said she was joking around and I told her that she took the joke too far. She didn't even know one of the guys' last names, yet still had his dick in her mouth. I wish she wouldn't do things like that because people get the wrong impression and say nasty things about her. It isn't fair because in reality she's actually a nice, sweet girl. But I suppose it doesn't help that she goes around sharing this story with people.

Lately lots of people have been telling me their secrets. It makes me feel good because they trust me enough to share personal things with me. She said "you're just really comfortable to talk with. I feel safe when I tell you things" That quote made me so happy.


6:30 p.m. - Thursday, Sept. 14, 2006

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